Anyone entering this world for the first time will quickly come across a flood of superficial advice. Much of it sounds nice, but is of little use. The really valuable insights come from those who have already travelled the path - with all its detours, disappointments and surprising twists and turns.
We spoke to several experienced members who have been working on Sugar Daddy were active - at that time still a small project, only available in a few cities. Their perspectives are honest, sometimes uncomfortable, but that is precisely why they are so useful. All names have been changed for reasons of confidentiality.
Why patience changes everything
Fast results. Immediate reward. Sounds tempting - and almost always leads to a dead end.
If you go in expecting to sit in a Michelin-starred restaurant at Gendarmenmarkt after the first meeting, you will almost certainly be disappointed. Such stories do exist. But they are the exception. Most successful relationships of this kind develop over weeks and months - through many conversations, a few mediocre dates and the willingness not to give up at the first disappointment.
As a sugar baby it is worth looking at the whole thing more like a long-term investment. Sounds sober, but it's true. Desperation is repulsive - and that applies to any kind of relationship. If you remain calm and know what you want at the same time, you radiate something that attracts serious counterparts.
A thought that is often underestimated: Even dates that don't lead to anything are not wasted time. Sometimes you meet people with whom you don't make an agreement, but with whom you do make interesting contact. Patience is not passive waiting - it is active perseverance with a clear goal.
Being picky is not a luxury
One of the most common traps: getting involved in something just because the other person seems wealthy. Sounds obvious, but it happens all the time. Money alone doesn't make a good connection - neither in conventional dating nor here.
It's all about knowing exactly what you're looking for beforehand. Travelling companion? Career mentoring? Support during your studies? Someone who shares your passion for art or culture? The clearer your ideas are, the easier it is to find the right match. POT communicate.
Not everyone offers the same thing. Some appreciate evenings together in a quiet restaurant in Eppendorf, others prefer weekend trips to Lake Starnberg. If you're travelling with someone and still feel uncomfortable, it's probably not a good fit. Honesty - also towards yourself - saves both sides a lot of time in the end.
Know your own standards - and defend them
There is a fine line between unrealistic expectations and the legitimate expectation of being treated well. Knowing this difference is crucial.
An experienced user of our platform put it like this: Lowering your standards also signals how much you value yourself. That doesn't mean expecting a suite at the Bayerischer Hof at every meeting. But it does mean not settling for something that feels wrong - no matter how generous it looks on paper.
Consistency requires patience (there it is again). The right constellation is rarely created at the first attempt. But it does happen - if you are prepared to say no sometimes.
Emotions - the underestimated topic
Hardly anyone talks about it openly, but it affects almost everyone.
When someone pays attention to you, invites you to beautiful places and makes you feel special, it's completely normal for something to develop. The only question is whether this is genuine affection or a reaction to a pleasant situation. This difference is not always immediately recognisable - and that's what makes it so tricky.
Experienced Sugar Sisters advise leaving the ball in the other person's court for the time being. As long as he doesn't clearly signal more, stick to what was discussed. Of course, the same applies the other way round: sometimes he wants more than you want to give. In fact, it shows strength to say stop in good time - before the situation becomes uncomfortable for both of you.
Learning to negotiate without selling yourself
A surprising observation shared by several experienced users: The supposedly richest are not automatically the most generous. Sometimes it is precisely the less conspicuous profiles that give more - be it materially or through genuine interest and advice.
The crucial point is preparation. If you go into a conversation about expectations unprepared, you've already lost. Your counterpart - especially if he is successful in business, whether as a banker in Frankfurt-Westend or an entrepreneur in Düsseldorf-Oberkassel - knows how to negotiate. This is his everyday life.
However, it is not about copying the tougher style. It's about clearly formulating your own needs and remaining open to dialogue at the same time. Never be blinded by external wealth - and don't let anyone treat you like an accessory, no matter how impressive their lifestyle may be.
What really makes you an inspiration
There is a word that is rarely used in this context, but it actually gets to the heart of the matter: muse. Not in the romanticised sense, but in a very practical sense - someone you feel inspired around. It has little to do with looks and a lot to do with energy.
When you get in, you quickly realise that stand out from the crowd is less about outward appearances than you might think. Experienced men - whether from the Hamburg media scene, the Stuttgart automotive industry or the Berlin start-up environment - pay attention to something else: How do they feel when they spend time with you?
That can't be faked. What you can do, however, is work on yourself. Deepen your interests. Have conversations that go beyond small talk. Stay curious. People who are interested in the world are simply more interesting - on an evening in a wine bar on the Moselle just as much as on a first date in a bar on Ku'damm.
A good Profile helps too, of course. But the profile opens the door - your personality decides whether it stays open.
The aspect that most people forget
This is where it gets pragmatic: support without clear goals falls flat. Anyone who views the whole thing purely as an influx of money without having an idea of where their own journey should take them will be dissatisfied in the long term.
The successful think ahead. They save, invest in their education, build networks. Some also use the relationship as a form of coaching - to be honest, this is one of the most valuable aspects that is far too rarely discussed. It's not about how much comes in. It's about what you make of it.
You may also be interested in: Tips for recognising false profiles.
Frequently asked questions
Selectivity protects you from spending time with someone whose ideas don't match yours. Not everyone has the same intentions - some are looking for travelling companionship, others for mentoring, others for casual meetings. If you clearly define what you need beforehand, you will find someone who respects this more quickly. This saves frustration on both sides and lays the foundation for something that feels right.
Distinguish between affection and infatuation. If someone is generous and attentive, it feels good - but that doesn't automatically mean love. Give it time and wait to see if the other person signals more on their own. If stronger feelings develop than planned, talk about them openly. Emotional clarity makes every agreement more stable and honest for both sides.
It has little to do with looking perfect and a lot to do with the energy you bring with you. Your counterpart should feel inspired and understood in your presence. Genuine interest in their topics, your own opinion and the ability to hold a conversation at eye level - that makes all the difference. External attractiveness opens doors, but personality determines whether it becomes something long-term.
In short: yes. Without an idea of what you want to do with the support, any help will quickly fizzle out. Whether it's studying, professional development or a specific project - if you have your own goals, you'll come across as more convincing and retain control over your own direction. Determination also attracts exactly the kind of people who want to help you progress in the long term.
