What distinguishes a man who is generous from a man who really understands what is at stake? This question is asked by every woman looking for the right partner on platforms such as sugardaddyGermany. After all, a full wallet alone does not make a gentleman - just as an expensive suit does not automatically prove style. In the German dating scene, there are clear differences between men who have understood the nature of such a connection and those who believe that a bank account is the only thing that counts. We have already explained, how to recognise a false candidate. This is about the opposite: seven qualities that characterise a true gentleman - and have nothing to do with your bank balance.
1. he listens - and listens properly
The ability to listen sounds banal, but it is the rarest quality a man can possess. Many successful men are used to having conversations - they present, argue and convince. What they have forgotten is to keep their mouth shut and give the other person space.
An attentive partner asks open questions. Not „What do you do for a living?“, but „What excites you about your degree programme?“ Not „Do you have siblings?“, but „What is your relationship like with your family?“ He doesn't just hear the words, but the context behind them. When his companion tells him that the exam phase at the University of Hamburg was stressful, he remembers that - and asks how it went at the next meeting. In psychology, this is called active listening: a technique that therapists use to establish a genuine connection. It's just as effective in any relationship with an age difference.
Active listening can also be seen in body language. A man who looks at his mobile phone during the conversation is signalling the opposite of interest. Someone who maintains eye contact, asks questions and remembers what was said a fortnight ago is signalling: You are important to me. It is precisely this feeling that decides whether a young woman stays or keeps looking.
2. he remembers details
Closely linked to listening is the ability to remember what has been said. A conversation over dinner at Tantris in Munich is worthless if everything is forgotten the next time we meet. For a young woman, this is a clear signal: he wasn't really with me.
An attentive man realises that she likes almond cake and not chocolate cake. That she dreams of travelling to Lisbon. That she has to give a presentation at RWTH Aachen University on a certain day. These details may seem trivial - for her, they are proof that he is listening. If he suddenly orders almond cake on the third date without her having asked for it, that is worth more than any expensive gift. It shows attention, not purchasing power.
Active listening
Ask open questions, maintain eye contact, enquire. Listening is not a passive activity - it is the most active form of interest a man can show.
Remember details
Remembering what she said - from her favourite cake to the exam date. Details show that he really listened, not just nodded politely.
Ask correctly
Open questions instead of yes/no queries. „What fascinates you about it?“ instead of „Do you like it?“ - the difference between a conversation and an interrogation.
3. he asks - and thus gives appreciation
In psychology, there is the so-called Benjamin Franklin effect: people who are asked for a favour develop a more positive attitude towards the person asking. A smart man who asks his partner for advice - whether it's about choosing a shirt, recommending a restaurant or making a personal decision - is showing that he values your opinion: I value your opinion.
Many men in this world make the mistake of treating the relationship as a one-way street: they give, they determine, they decide. A smart partner understands that a good relationship is based on reciprocity. When he asks her which restaurant in Dresden's Neustadt district she would recommend, or whether her new coat suits him, he makes her feel like she is part of his life - not just the recipient of his generosity. This seemingly small gesture changes the entire dynamic. Why a young woman stays with a certain man, rarely has to do with the account balance - and almost always with moments like these.
4. his compliments have substance
„You look good“ - every attractive woman has heard this phrase a thousand times. It's so generic that it means practically nothing. An attentive man gives compliments that show that he has looked.
The difference is in the detail. Instead of „Nice dress“, he says: „The colour of this dress matches your eyes perfectly - did you find it in the shop on Kurfürstendamm?“ Instead of „You're clever“, he says: „The way you solved the problem with your landlord earlier was impressive - you have a sharp mind.“ Such compliments require attention and genuine interest. They can't be prepared. And that's exactly why they work.
This also includes celebrating her successes. If she has passed an exam, got a promotion or achieved a personal goal, a sincere „I'm proud of you“ is worth more than a bouquet of flowers. It shows that he is part of her life - not just her evening programme.
5. he radiates calm - even when things get hectic
Successful men have something in common: they don't panic. Anyone who runs a company, who has made investments that have gone wrong, who has survived crises, develops a calmness that cannot be faked. This calmness is one of the most attractive traits an older man can have - and exactly what what young women appreciate in an experienced partner.
A lot can go wrong on a date. The reservation at the restaurant on Hamburg's Alster is lost. The taxi doesn't turn up. The red wine is spilt. A confident man reacts to such situations with a shrug of the shoulders and a solution, not with anger. If the reserved table is not available, he calmly suggests an alternative. If the weather ruins the planned walk, he finds a cosy café nearby.
This calmness is transferred to the entire relationship. A sugar baby who knows that her partner will remain calm in stressful moments feels secure. And security is one of the most important factors that sustain a relationship in the long term.
Show appreciation
Ask for advice, recognise successes. A sugar baby wants to be part of your life, not just the recipient. Genuine appreciation changes the entire dynamic of a relationship.
Keep calm
Calmness in stressful moments comes from life experience. This calmness gives his partner a sense of security that no gift can replace.
Living passion
Anyone who is passionate about something is interesting. Profession, hobby, convictions - passion shows that you are a person with depth, not just money.
6. he surprises - because he hates routine
Many successful men are professionally tied into fixed structures: Meetings at nine, lunch at twelve, finishing work at seven. That's exactly why they seek the opposite in their private lives - and that's exactly why they should offer it. If you go to the same restaurant every week, order the same dish and open the same bottle of wine, you will get bored in the long run. And boredom is the end of any relationship.
An attentive man plans surprises. Not necessarily expensive ones - but well thought-out ones. A spontaneous trip to Potsdam, a visit to a gallery, dinner on a boat on the Rhine. It's not about the price, but about creativity. Someone who shows that they've thought about it is more interesting than someone who simply orders the most expensive thing on the menu. In practice, this can also apply to small things: a book that fits in with a conversation that took place three weeks ago. Tickets for an exhibition at the Schirn Kunsthalle Frankfurt because she once mentioned that she was interested in contemporary art. A handwritten note in a bouquet of flowers instead of an automated message. Whoever common myths about this world knows that the ability to surprise is one of the things that no cliché covers.
7. he has passions - and shares them
The last point is perhaps the most important: a true gentleman is a man who is passionate about something. This can be his profession, a hobby, a cultural interest, a sporting discipline. What exactly is less important than the fact that there is something that drives him.
Passion is infectious. When a man talks about his company and comes alive, when he explains why architecture fascinates him as they walk through Hamburg's Speicherstadt warehouse district together, when he is completely absorbed in cooking a risotto - then he shows that he is more than just a wallet with legs. He is a person with depth, with history, with substance. What makes such a man at heart, is not just his financial status - it is the totality of his person.
The seven qualities we have described here are not a checklist to tick off. They are an overall picture - the way a man presents himself, communicates and treats his partner. Many can offer money. Character cannot. And it is character that determines whether a date turns into a relationship that is enriching for both parties. If you recognise yourself in this, you're on the right track. If you don't, you now have the opportunity to work on it - because unlike your bank balance, character traits can be developed at any time. Start by listening, the rest will follow automatically. And also note the The key to being an uncomplicated partner - because good character also needs the right realisation. Those who are Incorrect agreements informs both sides from disappointment.
Frequently asked questions about the qualities of a good partner
Because it's the basis for everything else. If you don't listen, you can't remember details, give good compliments or respond to your partner's needs. Active listening means: asking open questions, maintaining eye contact, remembering what has been said and asking follow-up questions.
Avoid generalisations such as „You look good.“ Refer to specific details: a particular item of clothing, a skill or an achievement. The more specific, the more credible - and the more it shows that you are really looking.
Serenity develops through life experience. It develops when you have experienced enough crises to know that most problems can be solved. In everyday life, it manifests itself in how a man reacts to the unexpected - staying calm, finding an alternative and saving the evening.
Because they show that a man has put some thought into it. A surprise doesn't have to be expensive - a spontaneous outing, a thoughtful gift or an unusual restaurant will suffice. The important thing is that it matches her interests and proves that he has listened.
Character. A man with money can pay the bills. A true gentleman listens, remembers details, gives thoughtful compliments, keeps his cool and shares his passions. It is the combination of these qualities that sets him apart from an ordinary man.
Yes, when you ask them for an opinion or recommendation, you show appreciation for their perspective. Instead of a one-way street, it creates a partnership of equals. The Benjamin Franklin effect shows that people respond more positively to someone who asks them for a favour.
