Sugar Baby woman and Sugar Daddy man laugh in a misty aura like in a dream, they seem very enthusiastic, they are delulu.
If you've been on TikTok, Instagram or X for a while, you've probably seen the chorus: delulu is the solulu. The phrase, which plays on „delusional“ and „solution,“ has jumped from K-pop fandoms into almost every conversation about dating, work and self-esteem. Essentially, delulu is used humorously or ironically to describe unrealistic fantasies that someone embraces with blind faith... sometimes for motivation, sometimes to laugh at themselves.
In sugar dating, the word has found fertile ground: it promises glamour, shortcuts and fairytale endings; but if not handled, it also brings costly disappointment. There are both delulu sugar babies and delulu sugar daddies, this term encompasses both. In this article, we'll explain what delulu is, why it's become a trend, how it works in relationships with sugar daddies and, most importantly, how to utilise your spark without losing your grip.
What is delulu, where does it come from and why does it have to do with sugar relationships?
Delulu is the playful short form of „delusional“, which is used by the Sugar babies of the GenZ is heavily used. It's internet lingo that first spread to online dating in general and then to sugar dating - with a comical wink at self-delusion. This neologism first circulated in K-pop fandoms, where fans labelled their own fantasies with their idols as „delulu“. Later, the term jumped into general TikTok lingo and scenes like sugar dating.
The „mantra“: delulu is the solulu summarises the idea that believing in it can bring about what you want (or at least give you the confidence to try).
In his work on internet jargon, researcher Lukáš Hýža reminds us of two very useful points: „The term ‘delulu’ is a shortened version of the word delusional.“ And about the speed at which these words change: „Brainrot terminology keeps expanding every day as new trends constantly appear.“
Hýža also documents the motto delulu is the solulu as a meme that equates „being delusional“ with a key to happiness (always meant playfully). He also notes that the peak in Google Trends was reached around November 2023, having grown since September of that year.
You can read: the complete work Examining Brainrot Terminology in the Online Environment, if you like.
In popular numbers: on TikTok, the hashtag #delulu has more than six billion accumulations in recent headlines.
Delulu and sugar dating: when fantasy hits the accelerator
When dating sugar daddies, delulu often describes unrealistic expectations of the relationship, commitment or benefits. Recurring examples:
- Believe that a loose arrangement ends in marriage or stable cohabitation „like any romantic couple“.
- Accepting exclusivity without talking about it just because „it's going great“ or „he treats me special“.
- Ignore red flags (inconsistencies, vague promises, diffuse boundaries) - for financial benefits or an emotional kick.
Here, delulu does not mean „being crazy“ or „irrational per se“. Rather, it's giving more weight to fantasy: projecting what you wish for instead of what was actually agreed upon. But when this filter alters decision making and affects your wellbeing, it stops being a nice joke.
Signs that you are entering Delulu mode
- You interpret gestures of kindness or generosity as romantic love.
- You make long-term plans based on vague promises or silence.
- You avoid defining the relationship for fear that the reality won't match your ideal.
- You deny (or postpone) conversations about boundaries, exclusivity and expectations.
- You rationalise contradictions („he's busy“, „he doesn't use a mobile phone“, „work prevents him...“), despite evidence to the contrary.
And why do so many people fall for it?
The architecture of social networks itself sometimes reinforces the dream, and some sugar dating platforms also use sensationalism and idealisation irresponsibly. Hýža's work on „brainrot“ - the overexposure to short and addictive content - shows that endless scrolling triggers dopamine spikes and encourages the notification-checking cycle, even at the expense of mental clarity.
Many sugar relationships start online and are told like micro-dramas on TikTok and Instagram. It's easy to see clips of someone receiving luxurious gifts or depicting perfect romances. This sometimes distorted window dressing can cause beginners to raise the bar with delusional expectations.
The good, the bad and the Delulu: is it really „the solution“?
The „vitamin“ side
The light version of the mantra - „believe in it a little more“ - can have psychological benefits:
- Self-confidence to demand what you want, negotiate clear agreements or stop if you don't get it.
- Antidote to the „Imposter Syndrome“: the fear of „not being good enough“ that causes many women to underestimate their value in negotiations (in relationships and at work). Media such as Fortune emphasised that this mentality leads to applying for jobs and selling one's skills better - something that „historically men have done with more audacity“.
- Resilience in relationship crises: therapist Carlos García explains that the conviction that you can improve a relationship increases the effectiveness of your own actions. It's not magic, he says; it's neurochemistry and behaviour in harmony.
The swamp side
When delulu becomes a daily self-deception:
- This is followed by emotional exhaustion, ghosting (because you push scripts that the other side has never accepted), bad agreements and loss of money through lack of financial control as a sugar baby.
- There is a dependency on validation peaks (messages, gifts, promises) and low tolerance for waiting.
- Cognitive dissonance occurs: you have to rewrite signals so that they don't refute your story („he didn't answer because...“, „he didn't come because...“).
So the key is not to demonise delulu, but to tame it: to transform this spark of faith into useful self-assertion without skipping over reality.
How to be delulu in sugar dating and that it benefits you
- Define the agreement in writing (yes, in writing)
No contract needs to be signed, but it should be included in your Telegram or WhatsApp messages. What is included, what is not, frequency, exclusivity, discretion, financial/experiential support, communication channels and reviews. A short text (an email or shared note on your mobile phone) prevents „different reminders“. - Check your assumptions
Although some relationships become stable and even move from sugar dating to marriage before you jump from „he told me ‚you deserve the world‘“ to „he'll pay for my wedding“:
- What objective evidence do you have?
- What has materialised so far?
- What has he repeatedly rejected or postponed?
- Distinguish between gesture, pattern and promise
A gesture can be tender; a pattern is already reliable; a promise must be crystal clear (what, when, how). - Open and regular communication
Schedule check-ins (fortnightly or monthly). Three questions are enough:
- What works?
- What needs to be adapted?
- Which boundaries do we need to strengthen?
- Emotional safety plan
Define soft boundaries (negotiable) and hard boundaries (non-negotiable). Prepare a dignified exit if they are crossed: „If X happens Y times, I will pause the relationship and end it if it happens again.“ - Financial and social independence
Whether sugar baby or Daddy: maintaining your own income, savings and social network reduces the risk of giving in for fear of loss; Remember that many women have come a long way without sugar dating or scholarships, and that it's not necessary if you don't enjoy it. - Ask your environment for „reality checks“
A few friends (or a private community) who know your agreement and dare to say: „Here you are delulu.“
Typical delulu cases in sugar dating (and how to redirect them)
- „We are exclusive“
Delulu signal: never discussed; only vague sentences like „I don't like to share“.
Landing: „For me, exclusivity means X. Is that the same for you? If not, I'd rather arrange it in Y.“ - „He will give up his life for me“
Delulu signal: Future plan without deadlines, without changes that can be observed today.
Landing: demand concrete milestones („in 30 days you will cancel A and in 60 you will talk to B“; if that doesn't happen, adjust your expectations). - „He feels the same way about me without the agreement“
Delulu signal: Confusing attraction/affection with love without agreement.
Landing: if this fantasy is crucial for you, change the type of relationship; if not, continue with the rules of the agreement. - „The luxury goods in the feed are also for me“
Delulu signal: apply viral stories to your case.
Landing: go back to the contract. What has not been agreed will not be accepted.
Anti-Delulu checklist for sugar daddies and sugar babies
- Clear goalWhat am I looking for (guidance, mentoring, support, experience)?
- Explicit expectationsWhat do I offer and what do I get, with red lines?
- Progress metrics: When we say „quarterly trip“, which one, when, with what budget?
- Fixed review30/60/90 days with the possibility of adjustment or cancellation.
- Active warning signalsEvasive manoeuvres, promises postponed in a continuous loop, excessive control, triangulation („I'll tell you what makes you jealous in order to tie you up“).
- Plan BYour well-being must not depend on the other person's yes.
Conclusion: laugh at the meme, enjoy the glamour... but negotiate in HD
Being a little delulu can give you the courage to demand what you deserve, muffle the impostor's voice and break through glass ceilings. In sugar dating, that same spark helps you negotiate clean agreements and get out of the ones that don't serve you well. The problem isn't dreaming: it's driving with your eyes closed.
Use delulu as a fuel for self-confidence, not as a map. Define the path with facts, boundaries and checks. And when your heart beats faster, ask yourself: am I enjoying a harmless fantasy... or am I projecting something that doesn't exist? This micro-check will save you from disappointment and enable you to build more stable, fairer and happier relationships.
Frequently asked questions about delulu
Examples: „he's the one“ after two meetings; taking benefits for granted that were not agreed upon; expecting sex/regular commitments without serious conversation.
This type of sugar baby is looking for a mentor and professional support. An ideal sugar daddy for her should have experience, connections in the working world and be willing to give her guidance and advice for her career.
No. In small doses, it can boost your self-confidence (demanding, negotiating, finalising). In excess, it leads to disappointment and bad decisions.
Quick self-check: am I ignoring actions? Do I make excuses to justify gaps? Do I expect changes without new agreements? If so, stop and recalibrate.
Clear expectations + open communication + boundaries. Work with verifiable milestones and regular reviews. Maintain emotional and financial independence.
From „delusional“ (shortened to delulu) and popularised by K-Pop and TikTok. The motto delulu is the solulu gave it wings; by 2023 it was already high on Google Trends, and today the hashtag is racking up billions of views.