Not every connection in the Sugardating is all about intimacy - and this surprises many who are coming into contact with this world for the first time. In fact, there are a growing number of men who are specifically looking for platonic connections: Relationships in which companionship, emotional closeness and shared experiences take centre stage, while physical intimacy either plays no role at all or is deliberately excluded. Anyone looking for a suitable partner in Berlin, Munich or Hamburg will realise that this type of constellation is more common than one might initially assume. This article explains why platonic connections exist, how you can find them and what you should bear in mind so that both sides benefit.
What a platonic connection really means in suggestive dating
The term „platonic“ is often misunderstood. Some think of it as a purely friendly relationship without any romance, others as a kind of business arrangement without any emotional depth. Neither of these is true. A platonic relationship in this world is actually a constellation in which two people meet regularly, spend time together and build a real connection - only without physical intimacy being part of the arrangement.
This can look very different. A divorced entrepreneur from Frankfurt who, after a difficult separation, is simply looking for someone to go out for dinner with in the evening, without any expectations. A senior manager from Düsseldorf-Oberkassel who is under constant pressure at work and wants a companion to keep him company on a weekend at Lake Constance. Or an elderly gentleman in Dresden who has lost his wife and wants to break his loneliness with evenings at the theatre and walks along the banks of the Elbe.
What they all have in common is that these men are not looking for a purely transactional relationship. They want to feel understood, have a pleasant companion and share life with someone who is genuinely interested in them. The myths about this world often let this slip under the radar, but the reality is much more diverse than the clichés.
Why some men consciously look for platonic connections
The reasons are as varied as the men themselves - and this is the point that many new women overlook. There is no one type of „platonic“ man. However, some patterns can be recognised that appear time and again.
Divorced men form a large group. After a separation, especially if it was painful, many have no interest in a new intimate relationship - at least not immediately. What they miss is the company, the dinner conversations, someone to take them for a Sunday walk through the vineyards of the Rheingau or to accompany them to an event. If you want to understand how best to deal with men like this, it's worth taking a look at our article on the subject, How to deal with a divorced counterpart.
Then there are married men who are satisfied in their marriage but are not getting certain emotional needs met. They are not looking for an affair in the traditional sense, but for someone who will listen to them, who shares their interests, who will accompany them to a concert or take them to an exhibition in Munich-Schwabing. These men place extreme value on discretion - an aspect that is particularly pronounced in German culture, where privacy is sacred anyway.
Incidentally, there is also a third group that is mentioned less frequently: older men who can no longer or no longer want to have a physical relationship for health reasons, but still have a need for human closeness and affection. In regions around Lake Tegernsee or in the Black Forest, where many wealthy retirees live, this type is more common than you might think.
The divorcee
After a difficult separation, many men are not initially looking for a new intimate relationship, but rather a pleasant companion. They miss conversations, evenings together and the feeling of not being alone. The emotional connection is absolutely at the centre here.
The discrete
Married men who don't want an affair but are looking for emotional companionship. They attach great importance to privacy and discretion. What they offer are often extraordinary experiences - travelling, cultural events, upscale restaurants - without the relationship going beyond the boundaries of friendship.
The retiree
Older men who are no longer looking for a physical relationship after the loss of their partner or for health reasons, but still desire human warmth and companionship. These relationships are often particularly warm, generous and characterised by genuine mutual appreciation.
Align your profile with platonic connections
If you are specifically looking for a platonic connection, you need to signal this clearly in your profile - but in the right way. It's not about writing „PLATONIC ONLY“ in capital letters. That's off-putting and uninviting. Instead, you should design your profile in such a way that it appeals to the right men without directly offending others.
How does that work? In your description, emphasise the things you would like to do together. For example, write that you love discovering new restaurants, taking part in cultural events or spontaneously spending a weekend at the Baltic Sea. Mention your interests: Art, music, literature, cooking, sports - whatever it may be. The more specific you are, the better. „I'm looking for someone to spend some quality time with“ is vague. „I am happy to be accompanied to concerts, exhibitions and relaxed evenings with good wine“ is much more precise and addresses exactly the men you are looking for.
If you have your Optimise your profile and photos correctly, your chances increase considerably. Choose pictures that show you in natural situations: on a walk, in a café, at an event. Avoid overly provocative photos - they send the wrong signal for the kind of connection you're looking for. Men looking for platonic relationships pay more attention to charisma and personality than physical charms.
The right charisma for platonic connections
What sets a woman who is particularly sought after for platonic connections apart from others? Basically, it's a combination of empathy, attentiveness and the ability to convey genuine warmth. Anyone who wants to delve deeper into this, How to stand out from the crowd, will find further strategies there.
In practice, this means: really listen when the other person is speaking. Ask questions that go beyond the superficial. Show a genuine interest in their life, their worries, their joys. An entrepreneur from Hanover who is having dinner in the south of the city after a long day at the office doesn't want to talk about business - he wants to switch off. A student from Heidelberg who makes him laugh and gives him the feeling that he doesn't have to be the boss for an evening is more valuable to him than someone with model measurements who only looks at their mobile phone.
To be honest, platonic connections are often about small gestures that have a big impact. A handwritten thank you note after a special evening. A message with a photo of a place you've talked about. A reminder of a birthday or an important event in his or her life. All of this signals: I'm here because I want to be, not just because I have to be. And this is exactly the feeling men are looking for when they want a platonic companion.
Where to find men for platonic connections
The obvious answer: on the relevant platforms. On sites such as Sugar Daddy Planet and sugardaddyDeutschlands®, there are now numerous profiles of men who are explicitly looking for non-intimate connections. Look out for phrases such as „companion wanted“, „joint activities“, „discreet company“ or „share cultural interests“ in the profile texts - these are typical signals.
However, not all men seeking platonic relationships are equally transparent. Some deliberately formulate their wishes vaguely because they are uncomfortable with the subject or because they don't know how the other party will react. That's why it's worth asking specific questions in the first few messages. What kind of activities do you have in mind? What does a typical week together look like for you? What is most important to you in this relationship? These questions will help you to quickly find out whether you are on the same wavelength.
At the same time, you should protect yourself from getting caught up with someone who initially feigns platonic intentions and then changes their expectations. Unfortunately, such cases do exist - and Recognising forgeries and dishonest intentions at an early stage is a skill that you should definitely acquire. If someone suddenly wants to change the rules of the game after a few meetings, you have every right to end the relationship. Our article explains how to stay professional and clear, How to say no as a professional.
Shared experiences that strengthen a platonic connection
A platonic relationship thrives on what you experience together. And this is also one of the biggest advantages of this constellation: because the physical level is removed, shared activities and experiences take centre stage. This can mean that you experience things that are often neglected in other types of relationships.
Germany offers an inexhaustible range of holiday options. A spontaneous weekend on Sylt, a wine tasting on the Moselle, a visit to the opera in Dresden, a bike tour around Lake Starnberg or dinner in a Michelin-starred restaurant in Cologne - the possibilities are endless. Experienced women report that planning activities together is an important part of bonding. Suggest things you really want to do. Show initiative. For example, if you've read an article about a new restaurant in Munich's Lehel neighbourhood, forward it on and write: „That sounds great - would you be interested?“ Gestures like this show that you are actively involved in the connection.
But it doesn't always have to be spectacular. Many men appreciate the simple things: an afternoon together in a café in Charlottenburg. A stroll through the old town of Freiburg. An evening on the couch with a good film and a bottle of Riesling. The important thing is not what you do, but how you treat each other. A detailed look at Tried and tested strategies for good dynamics can be very helpful here.
Formulate the agreement clearly - even with platonic connections
Just because a relationship is platonic does not mean that no agreement is necessary. On the contrary: because the boundaries are less obvious than in other constellations, clear communication is particularly important. What do both sides expect? How often do you meet? What kind of support is offered? What exactly does „platonic“ mean to you - completely without physical contact, or are hugs and affection okay?
All of this should be discussed openly, preferably relatively early on. Experienced women from the scene in Stuttgart and Leipzig report that they bring up these topics on the second or third date at the latest, when a certain basic sympathy has already developed. If you need guidance on this, you can find more information in our article on the Key issues that should be clarified in any agreement, a solid foundation.
Admittedly, many people find it difficult to talk openly about expectations and boundaries. But that is precisely the difference between a relationship that works and one that ends in frustration after a few weeks. A man from the Bergisches Land region once put it like this: he had a bad experience because it wasn't clear from the start what both sides wanted. Since then, he has insisted on an open dialogue before the third meeting. Although this is unusual at first, it saves a lot of disappointment in the long term.
If you want to learn how to conduct such conversations confidently, I recommend you take a look at this, How to successfully negotiate an agreement. The principles apply to platonic connections just as much as to any other constellation.
Open communication
The basis of any functioning platonic relationship is an honest conversation about expectations. What does „platonic“ mean for the two of you? How often do you meet? What kind of affection is okay? The clearer the rules, the less room for disappointment.
Fair conditions
Even without physical intimacy, a platonic connection has its value - and this should be reflected in the arrangement. Experienced women report that platonic connections often go hand in hand with generous travel and experiences, even if monthly support is less frequent.
Respect boundaries
If a man sticks to the agreed boundaries, that's a good sign. If he repeatedly tests or questions them, it's time to reconsider the relationship. Your well-being always comes first - in platonic relationships just as in any other constellation.
What you can realistically expect - and what you can't
Here the church should be left in the village. Platonic connections can be wonderful, but they also have their limits. The reality is this: Most men seeking platonic relationships are more willing to fund lavish experiences than provide regular monthly support. This means travelling, restaurant visits, cultural events and gifts - yes. A fixed monthly allowance - rather rare.
This is not always the case, but it is a pattern that experienced women describe again and again. So if you are specifically looking for regular financial support, for example to finance your studies in Göttingen or Mannheim, you should be aware that a purely platonic connection may not fully cover this need. In such cases, it is worth considering the different types and constellations and check which one best suits your goals.
On the other hand, there are women who prefer platonic relationships because the experiences are more important to them than money. One woman from the Nuremberg area reported that she had travelled to places through her platonic relationship that she would never have been able to afford on her own - from a skiing holiday in Garmisch-Partenkirchen to an opera trip to Bayreuth. For her, this was more valuable than any monthly bank transfer.
The first meeting with platonic connections
The same basic rules apply to the first meeting as with any other connection - but with a few special features. As there is less focus on physical attraction, the emphasis shifts even more to the quality of the conversation and personal chemistry. If you want to know what mistakes to avoid on a first date, you can find here a helpful overview.
Choose a place for the first meeting that encourages conversation. A quiet café in Hanover, an elegant wine bar in Baden-Baden or a cosy restaurant in Nuremberg's old town - places that offer a relaxed atmosphere without being too loud or too formal. Avoid overly loud bars or crowded restaurants where you can barely hold a conversation.
What experienced women recommend: Be authentic, but attentive. Ask him what moves him, what he does in his free time, what is important to him about this type of relationship. And also talk openly about what you have in mind. Ultimately, platonic connections are about the ability to meet each other on a human level - and that starts from the very first meeting.
What all these aspects of platonic relationships have in common: They require a little more sensitivity than other constellations, but reward you with experiences that go far beyond the material. If you are prepared to embrace this special form of relationship, you can build connections that are characterised by genuine respect, warmth and shared experiences - anywhere in Germany, from the coast to the Alps.
Frequently asked questions
Yes, absolutely. There are many reasons: loneliness after a divorce, a desire for companionship without the complications of a traditional relationship, or health restrictions. But always look for consistency between his words and actions.
Emphasise shared activities and interests instead of explicitly writing „only platonic“. Phrases such as „I am looking for company for culture and travelling“ or „Good conversations and shared experiences are more important to me than anything else“ send the right signal without being off-putting.
It is your right to say no clearly and firmly. Remind him of the original agreement. If he doesn't honour it, end the relationship - your boundaries are non-negotiable.
Not necessarily - they are just structured differently. Instead of monthly support, platonic relationships often offer generous experiences: Travel, fine dining, cultural events and high-end gifts. For some women, this is even more valuable.
Look for consistency: Do his messages match his behaviour on the date? A man with genuine platonic intentions will never try to test your boundaries. Ask him early and directly what he wants from the connection.
