The first few weeks were exciting - the tingling before every meeting, the long conversations, the curiosity about each other. But at some point, usually after two to four months, something changes. The messages become shorter. The meetings feel more routine. And suddenly you realise that you are annoyed by little things that you found charming at first. Welcome to the in-between phase - the stage that either destroys most arrangements or takes them to a new level. On sugardaddyGermany, the most successful long-term relationships have one thing in common: both partners have consciously mastered the intermediate phase instead of ignoring it. One of the common myths in sugar dating is that such relationships are fundamentally superficial and short-lived. The reality shows the opposite: those who understand this world are often looking for a lasting connection - and this is exactly what the interim phase is crucial for.
1. why the intermediate phase is crucial
We have reported in detail on the Four phases between a companion and her partner written. The beginning is the phase that receives the most attention - and rightly so, as this is where it is decided whether a connection will be established at all. But the intermediate phase is at least as important, because this is where it is decided whether the connection will last. It is in this phase that true complicity is forged. The initial euphoria gives way to a more mature dynamic in which both sides get to know the more intimate aspects of life together - and realise whether what they have found is really what they want in the long term.
A Munich entrepreneur who has been running an arrangement for three years describes this transition as follows: „The first two months were like a film. Everything was perfect. Then came the phase in which we disagreed for the first time - and that's when it became clear whether we fit together.“ That's where the work begins. Not in a negative sense, but in the sense of a conscious decision to invest in the connection. An arrangement that survives this phase gains something that couldn't develop in the euphoric first few weeks: genuine trust.
2. the first dates determine the middle phase
The quality of the interim phase depends directly on how the first meetings went. A sugar daddy who communicated clear expectations from the outset now has a stable foundation. Someone who has remained vague and hoped that things would work themselves out is now feeling the consequences. If no clear agreement was reached in the initial phase, the unspoken expectations break down in the intermediate phase - and this almost always leads to conflict. A sugar baby who has defined clear conditions from the outset is much more secure in the interim phase than a woman who has hoped that everything will work itself out at some point.
Ask yourself honestly: Do you have the Qualities that characterise an experienced partner, did you really show this in the initial phase? Have you clearly communicated what you expect and what you offer? If so, the intermediate phase will be a natural deepening. If not, now is the time to make up for it - before the small irritations become real problems.
Communication
Open discussions about expectations and needs are more important than ever in the interim phase - they prevent minor irritations from becoming major problems.
Inventory
Honest self-reflection about where the relationship stands and whether it still meets the needs of both sides - without embellishment.
Renewal
The conscious commitment to continue investing in the connection - emotionally and through shared experiences that bring new energy.
3. typical warning signals in the intermediate phase
The intermediate phase is rarely heralded by a dramatic moment. Instead, small changes creep in, which individually seem harmless, but together form a clear picture. A Berlin businessman may notice that his companion is slower to reply to messages. A student from Stuttgart realises that their evenings together are becoming repetitive - always the same restaurant, always the same topics of conversation. A doctor from Hamburg notices that his partner seemed more distant than usual the last time they met. These changes are normal and no cause for panic, but they do require attention - because if you ignore them, you allow small cracks to develop into large fractures.
The most common signs that the intermediate phase has begun: Communication becomes shorter and more superficial. Conversations don't lead to any results, but go round in circles. Scheduling becomes more difficult - suddenly one of the two has „no time“ more often. Joint activities lose their appeal. Things that didn't bother you at first suddenly become points of friction. The feeling of uncertainty about the future of the relationship increases. None of this is a reason to panic - but it is a clear signal that it is time to consciously invest in the relationship instead of waiting for the problems to resolve themselves. Because they never do.
4. honest stocktaking
The first step to successfully passing through the interim phase is an honest assessment of the situation. Ask yourself these questions: Where are we now? Does the relationship still correspond to what we imagined at the beginning? Do I still want to be in this situation in six months' time? Have my needs changed - and if so, have I communicated this? A Frankfurt financial advisor who admits that the meetings have become routine has already taken the most important step - he has recognised the problem instead of ignoring it. Many men do the exact opposite: they notice the change but hope it will go away on its own. It doesn't.
Now is not the time to sugarcoat things or sweep issues under the carpet. A sugar baby from Hamburg who has felt for weeks that the agreement no longer meets her needs should address this - not in three months' time when the frustration has built up, but now. In order to identify the most common problem areas in arrangements, It doesn't need complicated analyses - it needs honesty, first towards yourself and then towards your partner.
5. solve problems without apportioning blame
If the assessment shows that there is room for improvement, the real work begins. A sugar daddy from Düsseldorf who realises that his companion has become emotionally distant should not immediately look for reasons in her - but first look at himself. Has he shown enough attention in the last few weeks? Has he honoured the agreement? Has he taken an interest in her projects and plans - or has he been too absorbed in his own everyday life?
The key is to look for solutions together instead of apportioning blame. „What can we both change?“ is a more productive question than „Why aren't you doing that anymore?“. Put yourself in your partner's shoes: What has changed for them? What needs have remained unfulfilled? Maybe she feels more like a date than a partner lately. Perhaps she misses the spontaneity of the first few weeks. Or maybe something has changed in her own life - a new job, an exam period, family stress - that has nothing to do with you, but is still affecting the relationship. A Cologne media entrepreneur who actively listens to his companion instead of defending himself creates an atmosphere in which real change is possible. It's not about being right - it's about saving the connection.
6. communication as prevention
Communication is crucial in all phases of an arrangement - but in the intermediate phase it becomes a question of survival. The best relationships don't fail because of major conflicts, but because of small, unspoken irritations that build up over weeks. The ability to communicate openly, is not a weakness - it is the most important quality that an experienced man can bring to an arrangement.
The most common communication mistake in arrangements: only having conversations when there is already a problem. Instead, think of communication as preventative maintenance - like a regular check-up to make sure both sides are happy. A Hamburg lawyer who asks his companion once a month „Is everything working for you the way it is, or is there something we should change?“ is not showing insecurity - he is showing maturity. At the same time, communication must flow in both directions. Don't just listen to answer - listen to understand. The time to talk about difficulties is when they first arise - not when they have already developed into a real conflict. A doctor in Stuttgart who immediately addresses a minor discomfort solves it in five minutes. A Frankfurt banker who waits three months may need three hours - or lose the connection altogether.
7. renew the commitment
The interim phase is not only a challenge - it is also an opportunity. Those who successfully master it achieve a depth of connection that was not even possible in the exciting first few weeks. Now real trust, real intimacy, real complicity develops. The conversations become more substantive, the shared experiences more meaningful, and the feeling of security - knowing that someone is there who understands you - becomes something that no amount of money can buy. This is one of the Reasons why a companion stays with you in the long term - not because of the agreement alone, but because of the quality of the connection.
Consciously renew your commitment. Plan shared experiences that go beyond the usual routine - a weekend in Vienna instead of the usual restaurant in Munich, a concert instead of the usual dinner. A Frankfurt sugar daddy who suggests attending a cookery course together after four months is signalling: 'I'm not just investing in us financially, I'm investing in us emotionally. And that's what makes the difference between an arrangement that ends after six months and one that lasts for years. The benefits of a long-term relationship - someone who understands you, who supports you, who enriches your everyday life - are worth putting in the necessary work in the interim phase.
Frequently asked questions
Typically after two to four months, when the initial euphoria wears off and the relationship enters a more mature phase. Signs are shorter communication, routine meetings and minor irritations that were not noticeable before.
Formulate observations instead of accusations: „I've noticed that our meetings have changed“ instead of „You're no longer making an effort.“ Look for solutions together and avoid apportioning blame - this creates an atmosphere in which real change is possible.
No, it is a completely normal phase that every lasting relationship goes through. Those who approach it consciously achieve a depth of trust and complicity that was not even possible in the exciting initial phase.
Plan experiences together that go beyond the routine, have regular open conversations and show through actions that you are emotionally invested. A weekend away, a new hobby together or simply a thoughtful conversation can significantly deepen the connection.
