Anyone who mentions this topic in a conversation - whether over dinner in Hamburg-Eppendorf, an after-work beer in Cologne or a coffee in Munich - usually gets one of two reactions: either an embarrassed silence or a very specific opinion based on no experience whatsoever. Hardly any other topic in the German world of relationships is so full of half-truths, prejudices and outright fabrications as the relationship between a Sugar Daddy and a sugar baby.
The problem: Most people who pass judgement on it know next to nothing about it. You have read a headline, seen a scene in a film or picked up a comment at some point - and built a ready-made picture from it. That's human, but it's not fair. Neither to the men who are part of this world, nor to the women.
In this article, we dispel the five most persistent myths - objectively, directly and without sugarcoating the reality. Because the truth about this type of relationship in Germany is much more nuanced than the clichés suggest. And anyone who reads to the end will realise: Most of what he thought he knew was simply wrong.
Myth 1: Sugar daddies are womanisers who are constantly changing
The image that many people have in their heads: an older man who is out with a different young woman every evening, today in a posh restaurant on Frankfurt's Opernplatz, tomorrow on a yacht, the day after tomorrow drinking champagne in a rooftop bar in Berlin. The reality is different - and to be honest, it's pretty boring compared to this cliché.
Most sugar daddies in Germany are businessmen, entrepreneurs or freelancers with a busy schedule. Between board meetings in Düsseldorf, customer appointments in Stuttgart and business trips to Vienna, there is simply not enough time to juggle a dozen relationships at the same time. The majority are looking for a stable, reliable connection - sometimes one, sometimes two, rarely more. The different types of sugar daddies show how different the motivations are: Some are looking for mentoring, some for support, some for a genuine partnership.
Of course there are exceptions. There are men who cultivate multiple contacts and call it variety. But the vast majority - especially in the German culture, which values reliability and consistency - prefer depth over breadth. If you look through sugardaddyDeutschlands® profiles, you will mainly find men who are looking for a concrete, long-term connection. The cliché of the restless womaniser is above all one thing: a good story that has little to do with reality.
In fact, experience shows that the most successful relationships are those in which both sides engage with each other - not those in which one man haphazardly jumps from one meeting to the next. Those who commute professionally between appointments in the Frankfurt banking world and conferences in Hanover have neither the time nor the energy for what the clichés claim. The reality is calmer, more considered and much less dramatic.
Myth 2: Sugar babies have no education and no ambition
This prejudice is perhaps the most absurd of all. The idea that women in this world are unintelligent, superficial girls who can do nothing but look good has absolutely nothing to do with the reality in Germany.
Studies and data from international platforms have shown the same picture for years: the majority of sugar babies are female students or young professionals with above-average education. At LMU Munich, Humboldt University in Berlin, Heidelberg University or WHU in Vallendar - there are young women everywhere who see suggesting as a way to finance their studies without having to take on three part-time jobs.
These women are studying law, medicine, economics or computer science. They speak several languages, have experience abroad and are pursuing specific professional goals. What makes a Sugar Baby stand out from the crowd, It is often precisely this combination of intelligence, ambition and social skills that makes the difference. A successful entrepreneur from Hamburg's Elbe suburb or a doctor from Bonn's Südstadt district isn't looking for company that just nods and smiles - they are looking for a dialogue partner at eye level.
The prejudice of the uneducated woman says more about the person who spreads it than about the women themselves. It is convenient because it offers an easy narrative. But it is wrong.
A detail that is rarely mentioned: Many of these women use the financial support specifically to be able to take on unpaid internships, afford a semester abroad in Vienna, Zurich or Amsterdam or complete their studies without the stress of three part-time jobs. This is not a weakness - it is a strategic decision. At a time when tuition fees, rents in university cities and the cost of living are rising, it's pragmatic, not naïve. The women you meet in this field often have a clearer picture of their goals than many of their peers.
SD: Businessman, not a playboy
The majority of sugar daddies in Germany are men with busy careers - entrepreneurs, doctors, lawyers. Their everyday lives leave little room for the cliché of the restless womaniser. They are looking for quality, not quantity.
SB: Student, not cliché
Most women in this world are students or young professionals with specific goals. They use Sugardating as a smart financing strategy for their studies and career - not as an alternative to work.
Real connections
This type of relationship is based on mutual benefit and respect. Many relationships develop into real, deep relationships - some last for years, some even lead to marriage. It is far more than a cliché.
Myth 3: Sugardating is nothing more than prostitution
This myth is the most aggressive - and at the same time the easiest to refute. Equating this type of relationship with prostitution reveals a fundamental misunderstanding of what these relationships are actually about. It's a prejudice that often comes from people who have no personal experience of the subject - and simply don't know the differences.
Prostitution is a service: a clearly defined service in return for a clearly defined payment. An agreement in sugar dating, on the other hand, includes time, attention, shared experiences, conversations, mentoring and yes - sometimes intimacy. But intimacy is neither the core of the relationship nor a requirement. A businessman who meets a student over dinner at Tantris in Munich, talks to her about her career plans and helps her prepare for a job interview is doing something fundamentally different from someone who pays for a sexual service.
In Germany, where sex work is legal and regulated, concealment would be pointless anyway - if you just want sex, you have legal and uncomplicated options. Why should someone take the diversions via a complex arrangement, go through profiles, have conversations, build trust? The answer: because it's not about a service, but about a relationship. The range of relationship types shows that intimacy is only one of many facets - and in some relationships it plays no role at all.
This does not mean that there are no grey areas. Of course there are people who misuse the term. But the same applies to any form of relationship. To condemn an entire type of relationship on the basis of individual cases of abuse would be like rejecting traditional relationships in general because there are cases of manipulation and abuse. Recognising incorrect agreements protects both sides - and separates serious connections from dubious ones.
Another aspect that is often overlooked: In many connections, support does not take the form of direct money transfers, but rather mentoring, access to networks or the payment of tuition fees. A property entrepreneur from Wiesbaden who arranges an internship in his office for a young architecture student is doing something that has nothing in common with a commercial transaction. It is an investment in a person - not payment for a service.
Myth 4: Sugar babies have to look like supermodels
The fourth prejudice follows a simple logic: if a wealthy man chooses a companion, then she must look like something out of a fashion catalogue. Platinum blonde hair, perfect figure, designer clothes - this is how many people imagine a typical partner in sugar dating. And again, the cliché is wrong.
Of course, attractiveness plays a role - as in any relationship. But what a successful man in his mid-forties from Düsseldorf-Oberkassel or a lawyer from Munich's Lehel district considers attractive often differs considerably from what Instagram algorithms sell as beautiful. Many SDs value a well-groomed, natural appearance more than operated perfection. What they are really looking for is someone who is confident in a variety of social situations - from a business lunch to a weekend trip to Lake Constance. A woman who feels just as comfortable in a hotel bar in Zurich as she does at a Sunday brunch in a café in Prenzlauer Berg.
In practice, education, charm, humour and conversation skills outweigh clothing size. The qualities of a good sugar daddy are reflected in what he values in others: substance, intelligence and authenticity. A man who values understatement himself - who leaves his Porsche in the underground car park and would rather have a good conversation than show off - is looking for a partner with the same style.
There is less pressure to conform to a certain ideal of beauty in this scene than in the regular dating world. On platforms such as Sugar Daddy Planet or Tinder, the profile photo is what counts - but in a face-to-face meeting over a glass of wine in a bar in Dresden's Neustadt district, it's the personality that decides whether there will be a second date. And this is exactly what distinguishes a real arrangement from a superficial encounter.
There are women who are more successful in this world with a natural look, a clever head and an engaging manner than someone who has invested thousands in cosmetic surgery. The explanation is simple: a man who has substance himself recognises substance in others. And he knows that the girl sitting next to him at a business dinner in Essen or at a company event in Mannheim must be able to do one thing above all else - enter a room and move confidently in it.
Myth 5: There are no real feelings in sugar dating
The last myth is also the most persistent: the assumption that a relationship based on a financial component cannot contain real feelings. As if feelings are only real when there is no money involved. This logic does not stand up to serious scrutiny - and yet it has persisted in the minds of many people for years.
The reality is that every relationship has an economic dimension. In a traditional marriage, you share costs, build something together and benefit from your partner's financial situation. Nobody would think of labelling a marriage as fake because one of the partners earns more. In sugar dating, the financial dimension is merely more transparent - which is paradoxically more honest than in many conventional relationships, where money remains a taboo subject. In cities like Munich, Frankfurt or Hamburg, where the cost of living is high and economic inequality is part of everyday life, an open attitude to this topic is more pragmatic than problematic.
There are sugar babies who have known their partner for years. Connections that began as a casual arrangement and have developed into deep, meaningful relationships. Some end in marriage, others in a lifelong friendship. How to maintain a long-term relationship, does not depend on how it started - but on how both sides treat each other.
The truth is simple: feelings develop between people, not between labels. Whether a relationship began as suggestive dating, a blind date or a chance encounter in a café in Leipzig - if the chemistry is right, the communication works and both sides are honest with each other, it can turn into real, deep connections. What keeps a man for the long term, is not the label of the relationship, but the quality of the connection.
If you were to attend a meeting between an experienced businessman and a young woman - a dinner in a quiet restaurant on the Rhine, a walk through the English Garden, a conversation about career plans and life goals - you would quickly realise: This looks like a perfectly normal relationship. Because it is. The financial component doesn't make it any less real - just as a joint mortgage doesn't make a marriage any less romantic.
Why these prejudices are harmful - to both sides
Myths are not harmless. They influence how people think and talk about it and - worst of all - how they feel about it. A man who doesn't dare to talk openly about his type of relationship because he is labelled an „old bag“. A woman who is ashamed because friends in Nuremberg or Bremen judge her without knowing the background. A young couple who feel uncomfortable at dinner in Potsdam because they can sense the age difference and are afraid of the looks from neighbouring tables.
This shame is unnecessary and based on false assumptions. This way of life is a conscious decision made by two adults who organise their relationship according to their own rules. It is neither illegal nor immoral - as long as it is based on honesty and mutual respect. Safe dating also means not being unsettled by the opinions of others who have neither experience nor knowledge of the subject.
Those who inform themselves instead of passing judgement discover a world that is more differentiated, respectful and humane than its reputation. Not perfect - no form of relationship is. But it is more honest than many alternatives that are considered more socially acceptable. Whether in Berlin-Charlottenburg, in Stuttgart's semi-high-rise neighbourhood or in a small café in Freiburg - the stories behind the prejudices tell of real people with real motivations. And they deserve to be heard - without prejudice, without clichés.
What remains of the five myths? Not much. Behind the clichés are businessmen looking for connection, students making smart decisions, relationships that go far beyond a transaction, and feelings that are as real as in any other partnership. The only question that ultimately arises is not whether this form of relationship is legitimate - but why so many people allow themselves to pass judgement without knowing even a fraction of the reality. In a country that sees privacy as a fundamental right, a little more restraint would be appropriate when making judgements about the private decisions of others.
Frequently asked questions about the myths about sugar dating
No. The majority are busy business people and freelancers who are looking for stable, reliable connections. The myth of the restless womaniser does not correspond to reality - most prefer depth rather than breadth and maintain one or two connections.
Platform data shows that the majority are female students or young professionals. Many study at prestigious universities, speak several languages and have clear career goals. The prejudice of the uneducated woman has no basis whatsoever.
No. Prostitution is a clearly defined service in return for payment. This form of connection includes shared experiences, conversations, mentoring and a relationship on several levels. The financial component is part, but not the core of the relationship.
Attractiveness plays a role, but education, charm and conversation skills weigh more heavily in practice. A well-groomed, natural appearance and the ability to move confidently in different social situations are more important than a certain look.
Yes, many connections develop into deep, meaningful relationships over time. Some end in marriage, others in long-term friendships. Feelings develop between people, not between labels - how a relationship began says little about how deep it can become.
Inform yourself thoroughly before you form an opinion. Sugardating is a conscious decision made by adults. Reputable platforms and transparent communication help to distinguish reality from clichés.
